Whew, things have been busy.
We went to Lewiston for the holidays and got snowed in at Uncle Doug’s place for three days. My pictures of that are on my other camera so I’ll upload them later. It was fun though, we got to play cards and hang out.
As most people know, our experience withBonita once we came back was a little crazy. Here’s how it went. We came back a few days later then expected so she was here from Tuesday till Sunday by herself. In the past that hasn’t been a problem at all since she can do most things herself and the word we were getting from her and everyone else was that she was doing great. Well, she wasn’t doing great. Dale has always said how frustrated he gets with how his family never tells him when someone is doing poor because they don’t want him to worry and boy, did we get a full dose of that. We heard she went in for one hydration in Lewistonand that she was doing good but when we came back Sunday night she looked like a walking mummy. I didn’t know you could be that thin and still be breathing. And mentally she wasn’t all there either. She was getting really confused when it came to trying to tell us something. She would mean one thing but say something completely different. After a day with her we took her to the hospital because it was obvious something was not right.
It turns out that while she was in Lewiston she stopped hydrating and eating like she should. She told us it was because she was running out of supplements but she could have purchased more in a reasonable amount of time. Honestly, what I think happened was that she was tired of fighting so when she went on vacation it was like taking a vacation from being sick as well did want to have to worry about making sure she did what she had to. I can understand that. It’s a hard thing to go through. We believe she was also fighting eating disorders that she had delt withfor years. From day one with us we had to try and get through to her that she had to eat enough or she was going to starve to death regardless of what the cancer was doing. She told us that it wasn’t true. If her body told her she was full then it was getting plenty of nutrition. This was while she was consuming less than 300 calories per day. It was a tough go.
While in Lewiston there were times that they didn’t think was going to make it. They actually had pretty much given up on her in the hospital and didn’t think doing anything for her was going to do any good. There’s St Joes for you. They actually asked her sisters if they should do any blood work rather than having the doctor make the decision. Hmmm. . .
Tuesday morning we took Bonita to the hospital because of her confusion. They were jam packed busy with people in bed in the hallways. They took one look at her and had her in her own room within ten minutes. She was really out of it. They were able to help her though. They re hydrated her and got her ammonia levels down to help with the confusion but she was still a little confused. She gained eight pounds just from being re hydrated.
After a few days of observation her doctor and her discussed her situation. Since she had not had chemo for about two months the cancer and gone wild. The chemo before was helping but not very fast. It was more keeping the cancer from growing any more than anything else. So when she didn’t have chemo for a couple months the cancer had gone wild which also caused a lot of the muscle loss. Notice I say muscle and not weight. Her weight was about the same since before she left. When consulting with the doctors on this they believed it was because the tumor had grown and the weight of that was offsetting the muscle loss. Her doctor and her decided that the only chance she had was to go back on chemo right away to try and stop the tumors.
Saturday she had her chemo session. Dale and I were, as usual, completely broke so we couldn’t afford the gas to go down there but she usually does pretty good after a chemo so we didn’t worry about it too much. When we hadn’t heard from her by Sunday we called down to the hospital to figure out how she was doing since it was unusual for her not to contact us. It turned out the the chemo had completely wiped her out. Mentally she really wasn’t there at all. She would have a moment or two where she knew what was going on but for the most part she kept trying to leave and would forget she was plugged into things. They had someone in her room 24/7 to keep an eye on her. Monday morning I had to take off work because they told us that they were sending her home since there wasn’t anything else they could do for her. So I raced home and we rearranged the house with Bonita’s bedroom downstairs in the living room so we could watch her.
The next day hospice came, took one look at her, and told us that from their experience she only had a few days left. The nurse said that the unexplained confusion was one of the signs that she was going into what they call “active death” meaning the body is shutting down. It’s because of this that I think she had actually entered active death before we took her to the hospital. The doctor’s at the hospital said they were stumped as to why she was so confused since her ammonia levels were back to pretty normal.
Over the next few days I tried to work a little but for the most part we stayed with her and tried to contact everyone. They did an emergency phone call for her son, Jeramy, to be able to call her from the Florida State Penitentiary, and he luckily got her at a good, fairly lucid moment. Dante called often and was able to talk to her for a bit.
Finally, at 12:54 am Saturday the 17th she passed away.
Dale has done good. He’s seems to handle it fairly well although we are both wondering how well he is actually doing since he’s had some bad points. We’ll probably talk to some experts to make sure he’s doing okay.
That last week was so weird. I really wish they had let us know she wasn’t doing so well while she was out there. We would have been a lot more prepared. To just be thrown into it like that was crazy. One of the problems I had a lot with Bonita when she was here was the honesty. She was a good person, but she would tell me what I wanted to hear and not the truth a lot the time. It was so frustrating and the whole not doing well out there was right along the same lines. Oh well.
Oh, yes. A little bit of a funny thing it you want to look at it that way. She seems to be lost in the mail right now (she was cremated). She checked in at the Marysville post office last Wednesday but nobody knows where she is right now. I’m waiting for a call back from the post office. They said they don’t have any registered packages they are sitting on so he’s looking at the log book.
Anyway, the memorial was this weekend. It was nice. It was really great to see all of that side of the family. I have to say its really weird how you get married and are suddenly part of this big family. I’m having a hard time getting used to it. I’m so shy that it’s weird. I’m trying to get comfortable and I will its just going to take quite a few years, I’m sure, until it becomes natural.
I swear all of the health things don’t stop here. After all this with Bonita, my mom is having heart issues that seem to be getting worse, and will most likely kill her in the next couple years, my grandmother has taken a turn for the worse and may pass away fairly soon, a co-worker has come down with an aneurysm that is luckily small and treatable but still dangerous, Dale’s dad hasn’t been doing good for years. Holy, cow. Does it ever stop, or at least ease up?
On the plus side. We have the cutest baby ever. She got to see her cousins. My sister is having another little boy in June. Isaac Nathan Spinelli. We got to see a lot of family recently. Life overall is good. We just keep plugging along.
Here are some cute pictures.
Eight Months old Photo. (date stamp is wrong on the photos).
I love her in overalls!
Lottie and her cousin Owen at the memorial. Owen is three months younger than her and they are both about the same size. She just wants to grab him.
Yeah, dishes. Our dishwasher has been broken for awhile. I hate dishes.
